party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I understand Curling. That high.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
