I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
