worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
