Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize