Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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