kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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