3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize