I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
