my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize