Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
