I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Randomize
