You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
