I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I just pynch a tree in the face
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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