At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
