at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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