What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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