So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
