Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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