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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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