You work out of a Hotel?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
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