i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
