im drinking this country out of the recession.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
