you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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