I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
