I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
This is my gift to your gina
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
