So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize
