Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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