Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
