i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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