Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
