end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
