I feel great
I just peed on a car
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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