gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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