hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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