I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
