pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize