the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
