So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
