I'm eating all of the evidence.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
