I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
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