but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
why do cheetos always look like penises
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I wear drunk well.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
