Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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