just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
