Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
