i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
