True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize