Farmville is her only friend.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
