I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
