I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
