everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
She made me pour olive oil on her.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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