guys are not supposed to queef...right?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
