Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
We are two peas in an std pod
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
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