What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
