So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
