I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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