i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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