i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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