Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Randomize